Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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