did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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