I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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