Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
