Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Text me some of your sweat
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
