i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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