why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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