Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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