if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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