she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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