Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
