brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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