I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
