I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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