I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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