bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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