She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You left your phone here
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