I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
