I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
