I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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