Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
