please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
