I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
