i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize