My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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