Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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