I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
