Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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