Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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