i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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