You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
