i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
