I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
