It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
