Dual....:-)
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
