she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
