i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
