I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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