she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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