And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's official drugs can't kill me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
