We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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