So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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