Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
