See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
