Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
