I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
