did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
