At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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