I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
