ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
