Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
