everyone is single if you try hard enough
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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