She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
