I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
