Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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