I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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