her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
