I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
