Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
