I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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